Money, sex and diarrhoea: our 10 most frequently asked questions

We have met a lot of people during our year of travelling and had lots of conversations. There are some questions that seem to crop up over and over. Here are the 10 questions we are asked most frequently…

1  How can you afford to travel for a whole year?

People often assume that we must be loaded to take on a round the world trip. In truth we have spent less this year than we would have done at home. We were able to remortgage our house and rent it out to fund our adventure. We try to stick to a backpacker type budget and we have spent most of our time in countries with low living costs. We are heading home with a hefty credit card bill.

2  Isn’t it hard to travel with children?

I have said before that life on the road with kids is still life with kids. They get hungry, tired and they fight. But the actual travel part I think is easier with children than without. People go out of their way to help, they make room on the bus, let you jump queues and give you food. The children are great at breaking the ice and we have visited some really cool places that we wouldn’t have done without them in tow.

3  What about school?

This has been asked with every different tone of voice you could imagine. From mild curiosity to outright shock. Our boys are still young, nearly 4 and 5 and a half, there is plenty of time for school. They have learned far more this year than they possibly could in a classroom.

4  Don’t you get on each others nerves being together all the time?

Yes. Sometimes. We are human after all. But we have developed coping strategies like going for a walk, taking turns with the kids or just not talking to each other.

5  Has you sex life suffered?

Lots of people wonder about this but as my Mum is reading I’ll just say that as a co-sleeping family this is a familiar question. When you’re all sharing one bed that is the place for sleep and you find other places to have a bit of a kiss and cuddle. This is also true for travelling.

6  What has your favourite country been?

Up until a month ago my answer was India. We loved the vibrancy and chaos. How every day felt like an adventure. The people, the food and how each state was so different from the last. Now I would say New Zealand. You couldn’t get anywhere less like India.

7  Wow, you took your kids to India! Didn’t you get sick?

Everyone wants to hear about the shits. There were some but only for the odd half a day and never accompanied by anything more sinister. One of us wrecked a pair of trousers with a fart that wasn’t a fart but on the whole we’ve been pretty healthy. In fact the most ill we’ve been this year is in the last week where 3 out of 4 of us have ended up with infections from a hot spring.

8  Have there been times you thought you made a big mistake?

Of course! Nearly going up in smoke on a night bus in Vietnam led me to question what the hell we were doing. We had put ourselves in danger and I had many sleepless nights dwelling on the ‘what ifs?’

9  You must have a lot of luggage?

Nah. We’ve got 30kg all together. And that felt like way too much around South East Asia when we didn’t need our warm jackets and waterproofs!

10  Do the children enjoy travelling?

The children enjoy doing the things that children enjoy doing. They love beaches and swimming pools. They love making new friends, playing lego and hanging out in playgrounds. They love seeing wildlife and visiting museums. They are not so keen on temples.

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From rainforest to concrete jungle (aka Malaysia part II)

The road to Taman Negara was long and winding. George and I cosied up to read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, interrupted occasionally by Nick’s shushing as I got louder in the exciting parts. Outside the window were scenes of destruction. Vast areas of rainforest decimated for palm oil production and lorries carrying huge logs passed us on the road. Malaysia has the highest rate of deforestation in the World. 14.4% of its rainforest cover has gone since 2000, thats an area larger than Denmark. We all know the theory of deforestation but seeing it for ourselves was truly upsetting.

We found a comfortable hut in Kuala Tahan across the river from the park entrance. It had two sets of bunkbeds which turned out to be 50% more beds than we needed as the kids still wanted to sleep with us. After a good night’s sleep (no, really) and a delicious roti breakfast we stocked up on drinking water and headed to the jungle.

 

Nick’s insistence on singing a certain Guns and Roses song anytime someone said jungle got old quickly as we walked along a boardwalk through the rainforest. We noticed interesting leaves and insects as we pootled along at Tom’s pace. That is until we met some people walking in the opposite direction who informed us that the canopy walkway closed at midday. It was 11.40am and we had a mile to go. We chucked Tom in the sling and legged it, getting there just in time. Our lack of planning worked in our favour as we had it to ourselves and got to enjoy being up in the treetops without anyone else around.

We had planned a circular trail that would take in Bukit Teresik look out point. However, the heat and humidity along with George’s complaints got the better of us and we followed the trail downhill instead of up. We marvelled at the huge trees and tried to guess how long they took to grow, parts of the forest here date back 130 million years. I felt humbled and saddened again at the rate of receding rainforest. The trail lead us to Lubok Simpon where we stripped to our underwear and took a cooling swim in the river. We had confirmed our suspicions that a multi-day trek sleeping in the jungle would be too much for us.

 

We made the most of having good wifi and booked our accommodation for the coming weeks. Whilst we were otherwise engaged the boys made friends. They went on a scooter ride round the village and learnt about some indigenous crafts.

 

As we wandered down to the jetty, that evening for our night walk in the jungle, a man tried to scare Tom with his deformed hands. He was accustomed to children running away in fear but his party trick didn’t work on Tom. He held the man’s hands, looked at them intently and asked what had happened. The man was shocked by Tom’s reaction but it made sense to me. During our travels we have seen many people with missing limbs and deformities so the boys have learned that there is no reason to be scared because a person looks different.

The night walk was far from intrepid. We joined the throng of tourists and were separated into groups. In conveyor belt fashion we followed a trail just inside the jungle, where at various points our guide would point out insects and give a commentary. Our guide didn’t teach us anything we didn’t know already, thanks to our very interested-in-nature 5 year old, was unable to identify a spider I found on a tree and he didn’t even have a UV torch (everyone knows you need one of those for scorpion hunting – right?!).  But we did see a snake and a scorpion so it was a good creature count for George and that is good enough for me.

The driver was going way too fast on the bumpy road on the way to Cameron Highlands. Tomas announced he felt sick and whilst we were busy focusing on him George puked. Happily, with 4 hours to go, it just smelt of the chocolate roti he had eaten for breakfast. We got the minivan to stop did a quick clothes change and got back on the road, having asked the driver to slow down. We have gotten off lightly, this was our first incidence of travel sickness in 10 months. The boys have coped with the crazy driving in India, Nepal and Vietnam so it goes to show how fast this guy was going.

As we were stopped to change a tyre the driver shouted that we would need to sit on the puked on seat as another passenger was getting on. We said fine but asked for something to cover the wet patch. During the exchange the driver was using a very loud voice which did not sit well with Nick. He asked the driver to stop shouting. The driver didn’t seem to understand. To which Nick shouted “THIS IS SHOUTING” needless to say this did not go down well and I hastily tried to placate the driver whilst inwardly cursing Nick’s unique brand of how to make friends and influence people.

 

We spent a very relaxed few days in Brinchang in the Cameron Highlands. The area is renowned for tea, vegetables and hiking trails. Sadly George had a bad blister so that ruled out the hiking. Instead we drank tea and ate vegetables. We visited a tea estate and celebrated Nick’s birthday with a delicious afternoon tea. Nick and I took advantage of the cooler climate to stretch our legs with a run round a nearby golf course. And the children enjoyed having a TV in our room, especially because the only channel it picked up showed back to back Pixar movies.

And so to Kuala Lumpur. City of skyscrapers, mega malls and amazing street food. This is our third time here on this trip albeit the first time we have seen the outside of the airport. We’ll be seeing the sites in between plenty of rest before Nick heads to Borneo with the boys whilst I pop back to England briefly for a family wedding. George and Tomas now have their very own UV torch to hunt for scorpions in the jungles of Borneo. What could possible go wrong?

 

Vietnam Part I

The geography of Vietnam lends itself to one of two routes for exploring. You either go from North to South or from South to North. The flights worked out cheaper to Ho Chi Minh City so that’s where our Vietnamese adventure began.

The heat and noise hit us as we left the arrivals hall. It felt strangely familiar, despite never having been there before. We couldn’t get a price we were happy with for a taxi into town so climbed aboard a local bus and whilst the children were free we had to buy a ticket for our large backpack. We trundled through the swarms of motorbikes and were set down somewhere near our hotel. The welcome in HCMC couldn’t have been more different than in Tokyo. “The room you have booked is too small for you and your children.” Oh, here we go again we thought. “I’ll put you in a bigger room for the same price. Your kids are so cute!” I knew then that I’d like Vietnam.

We spent a happy few days in HCMC. My faithful flip flops from Western Nepal gave up on me so we wandered round the market looking for replacements. Everything is fake branded so I am now the proud owner of a pair of Aberconnbies [sic]. There are some cool playgrounds which the boys enjoyed no end. Not least because a random encounter with a lovely family from New Zealand provided them with a playmate for a large portion of our time in Vietnam.

We weren’t sure about visiting the War Remnants Museum with children but it worked out really well. They enjoyed seeing the planes and tanks outside and there is a playroom on the top floor. Nick and I meanwhile took it in turns to play with the children whilst the other visited the museum. I walked through the exhibition with tears streaming down my face. I learnt more about the American/Vietnam war and the far reaching implications of Agent Orange. There are some truly horrific photos of the brutality of war, in particular of children, which made me despair for humanity and stayed with me for a long time.

After zipping round the Far East we were in need of a rest. The plan had been to settle for a month in the beach town of Mui Ne to recuperate. We had a not-so-little house that I’d found on Air BnB and we were happy to fall into the routine of domesticity after so many hotels. We were excited to cook our own food and do our own laundry. We loved having mango trees in the garden and having time to think about where we’re going (literally and figuratively).’

 

Mui Ne is a big draw for Russian tourists so between self catering and all the Cyrillic signs we didn’t really feel as though we were in Vietnam. We enjoyed the company of our Kiwi friends who joined us for a few days and all had fun in the nearby sand dunes. The beach was a let down however, as the water was dirty and I was savaged by sand flies. We took to using the pool at Joe’s (a local cafe/resort) where the boys perfected their swimming. After a couple of weeks, feeling rested, we cut our losses and were back on the road.

We headed up to the Central highlands and the hill town of Dalat. Enjoying the cooler climes whilst we saw the sites including Hang Nga Crazy House, Elephant falls and the beautiful Xuan Huong lake. Dalat is well know for growing vegetables and the surrounding countryside is covered in poly tunnels.

We had planned an overnight trek with camping at nearby Mount Langbian. The start of the trek was rather disappointing with lots of rubbish and noise from jeeps. However after a steep climb we were soon away from the busy tourist area and horses painted to look like zebras. The next part of the walk was really enjoyable as we ambled through lush pine forest, even Tom managed the whole thing without complaint. As we got to the top the clouds had rolled in and we seemed to be right inside the peals of thunder. The heavens opened and we got soaked to the skin on our way down the mountain. Slip sliding on mud and trying to avoid the torrents that cascaded down the path next to us. At one point I had a couple of kilos of extra weight in clay stuck to my feet. We decided we didn’t have anything to prove by staying in the tent and beat a retreat to the warm shower in our hotel.

From there we hit big brash seaside town of Nha Trang. The beach was lovely, if crowded and the boys loved jumping off the diving board at the Central Park pool. We attempted the ‘Total Wipeout’ style bouncy stuff in the sea, but didn’t really get the hang of it. It was a good place to break up the journey northwards but boy were we happy to reach Hoi An.

 To be continued…

On being Intrepid

For me being intrepid meant being active, adventurous, outdoors and seeking the next thrill. Indeed, one of the main reasons for leaving the nine-to-five (more like seven-to-eight) was to take my family on an adventure around the world and broaden their, and my horizons. We wanted to leave the fish bowl and explore what’s outside. And, as is clear from our previous blog posts, we’ve clocked up many miles (and spent many pounds) actively being intrepid.

So, I must confess, sitting still on a beach in Goa and just being present in the moment was not really on my agenda. Sitting still does not come naturally to me, as some of you know.

Having been here for a few weeks, however, I’ve realised that being intrepid doesn’t always have to be huge, tiring strides up mountains or hours spent on expeditions. My two sons have shown me repeatedly that being intrepid can be as simple as learning to jump off rocks into the sea and swim back to shore again. Or taking off your armbands for the first time and wading into the sea alone and free.

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Or having the confidence to walk up to other children on the beach and then build such a bond that we enjoy their company for a few fun-filled precious days. They flourish and continue to stretch themselves in ways that I hadn’t anticipated before we arrived in Goa – and stood still – and it’s been beautiful to watch.

But as I watched my sons being themselves, being intrepid, I realised that something still wasn’t right. What was wrong, I wondered. Then, within a few days of our arrival, it struck me. It was Christmas Day, the sun was setting and I was watching my boys mess around in the waves. That was it; I was only watching them and not being and playing with them. It’s very difficult to admit, but sometimes being a dad is bloody hard and I don’t know what to do for the best. “Leave them be, they’re playing well on their own”, although sometimes that’s perfectly true and appropriate, it can easily become a default setting, a comfortable place with limited risk but filled with missed opportunities. There was only one thing for it. I dived in, joined the boys and I enjoyed the best Christmas Day of my life. The sunset wasn’t bad either!

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So as the boys are relishing being intrepid still, I’m enjoying learning from them and just being still. As one of my best friends said recently before we left; somethings are just more important than others. So perhaps putting less emphasis on being intrepid and more on being with the Johnsons is more important.

Happy New Year!

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Bardia National Park

We were met by a jeep where the bus set us down at the turn off to Bardia. We huddled under a blanket as we bumped along the dirt track. It was still dark and very cold. Every bit of me wanted to sleep but the boys had slept well on the ‘party bus’. It was going to be a long day.

We were staying at Forest Hideaway lodge. A series of ‘cottages’ based on the traditional Tharu mud and thatch dwellings but with ensuite Western bathrooms. These are set around picturesque gardens with tables and hammocks dotted around.

We chucked our gear in our room and with a longing look at the bed went for breakfast. Our guide, Santos, introduced himself and we discussed our programme for the next few days. People usually want to rest when they first arrive but we had no chance of that with two young boys bouncing off the walls, so we agreed on going into the park on a jeep safari.

We spent an enjoyable day roaming round the park. Bardia covers an area the size of London and we explored the equivalent of the West End in the jeep. During the course of the day we saw spotted deer, wild boar, monkeys (Macaque & Langur) crocodiles, lots different birds, and (very exciting for G and his current fascination with snakes) a python.

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Santos and Manu, our driver, tracked tiger prints and spoor and at various places we would pull up and follow these signs on foot. The boys were happy to spot spiders, bugs and butterflies. Towards the end of the day we swung by a look out point, there were a handful of other tourists with binoculars and big cameras focused on an area of bush across a small river. They were extremely quiet so we decided not to spoil the party with our noisy children.

We called it a day and visited the crocodile breeding centre and the blind rhino that resides at the entrance to the park. This being the

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highlight of the day for the boys. Whilst there Santos got a call that another group from our hotel had seen a tiger at the look out point we had just left. We’d missed the bloody thing by 20 minutes!

We had a lovely dal bhat dinner and enjoyed hearing from the lucky folk who had seen the tiger. Then we headed for bed. A firm mattress and soft pillow was a welcome combination and we all had a great night’s sleep!

The following day we were up and out early for an elephant safari. There was a beautiful sunrise and as the morning mist cleared we enjoyed the ride through the sun dappled forest. The mahout had a machete to hack off low hanging branches and Nick kept a keen eye out for webs containing massive spiders; he’s not a fan!

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It was a very evocative experience, such a peaceful way to explore the forest and even the boys were quiet (apart from giggling at elephant farts!) During the ride we saw another python as well as spotted deer and monkeys.

The elephant*, Santi, seemed to bulldoze its way through the forest but the vegetation sprang back up behind us hiding its passage. I found it fascinating how something so large could walk through dense forest leaving little trace.

The rest of the day was to be spent on foot. Santos and another guide, Nanu, lead the way. Walking through the thick elephant grass, listening for any sound, I had butterflies tickling my tummy with a familiar feeling of anticipation. The excitement I felt at the possibility of seeing animals in the wild stirred memories of safari trips in Uganda with my Dad and Sister. My mind wandered and I caught myself laughing out loud at the bad jokes – ‘look a crocodile, keep a straight face’ ‘ahh an elephant, and by the size of its ears I deduce that it is an African elephant’ and animal impersonations (if you know Catherine get her to do her buffalo – it’s uncanny).

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Walking along a dry riverbed with tall elephant grass on either side we had to be particularly quiet as to not startle the wildlife as there would be no means of escape from a charging animal. Santos had regaled us with stories of being chased by tigers and elephants and we understood the danger and importance of not drawing attention to ourselves. Happily George stayed quiet and Tomas was fast asleep on my back. In fact his snores were mistaken for a noise in the bush at one point which raised a giggle from me and Nick.

We passed the place the tiger had been spotted the previous day then continued, across a river onto an island. We stopped for a couple of hours for lunch at a lovely spot overlooking a river. We didn’t see any animals there but the children were happy playing in the sand and Nick dosed in sun whilst I kept watch with binoculars.

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I’m not sure if my memory is playing tricks on me but I can’t recall all this waiting around from my trips to Queen Elizabeth National Park. Mind you I used to nod off in the jeep safe in the knowledge I’d be woken if anything exciting happened.

Santos got a call that we’d missed a tiger again by about half an hour. I was beginning to think, that whilst there were trying hard to be quiet, the boys’ noise was scaring off all the wildlife.

Then as we started to make our way back we saw it. A one-horned rhino. It was a safe distance away (I wouldn’t want to be up close) and we had an excellent view through our binoculars. It was wading in river eating algae. It was a wonderful feeling to see this rare creature in its natural habitat. I cursed the Indian dust that has buggered the shutter on my SLR camera and took a feeble shot with my iPhone.

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After watching a while we walked back to where everyone except us had spotted the tiger. Lots people were waiting there. By this time it was hard to keep the children quiet. Nick and I took turns entertaining them with snake hunts and tree climbing but it was obvious our day had run it’s course. As we walked back we saw a Barking deer and shared a laugh with Nick and thought how dad would have made some joke about it being a long way from home!**

When we got back the boys played with some children outside the lodge. I was happy to see them running around roaring after having to be still and quiet for so long. I was less happy about them joining in a game of chase with a dead rat.

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The next day was to be spent rafting on the Geruwa river. Santos asked if his family could join us. We figured the more the merrier and thought the boys would enjoy some young company. We collected his wife and two children (a boy, 6 and girl 2) from their home near the lodge and headed to our put in point at Chisopani. Our other guide for the day (whose name escapes me) was Santos’ brother-in-law so it was a real family outing!

It was a sunny morning with an icy cold wind. The boys attracted the usual attention of local children whilst Santos inflated the raft. We also garnered disapproving looks from the grown ups at Tom’s (as ever) underdressed state.

The water was crystal clear and happily the wind was behind us so it was pleasant to drift along the river. George has a deep affinity with water, (I’m sure he was a sea creature in a previous life) and he was desperate to get in. It reminded me of a time we visited a friend on her boat and instead of getting to meet her new baby I spent the time keeping G from flinging himself into the freezing water at Brighton Marina. He is older and wiser now and understood to wait until later in the day when it would be warmer.

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I enjoyed spending time with Santos’ family. Whilst his wife didn’t speak much English we were able to communicate a little. I delighted at her 2 year old daughters insistence on nursing and the ease with which she slept at the breast. It would definitely be a useful tool to still have up my sleeve (or top!) We also talked about the joys of a family bed and sibling squabbles over the duvet. Santos’ son was very quiet and still – the polar opposite of our own boys.

We stopped for lunch on a sand bar where rivers would join in the monsoon. Lovely peaceful spot, we still needed to be wary of wild animals and we saw plenty of footprints to demonstrate their existence but apart from a lone horned deer there was nothing about. The children played in the sand and Nick dosed in the sun whilst I watched the bush with binoculars (I see a theme emerging).

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The rest of the afternoon was fairly uneventful. George finally got his dip in the chilly water and was joined by Tom and Nick but they didn’t stay in long. We enjoyed the thrill of rushing through some rapids (very mild ones that probably don’t even get on the white water scale). In other places the water level was very low and a couple of times Nick and the guides jumped out to give us a push. Santos said that they’d manage one more raft trip the next day and that would be it until the spring snow melts swell the river again.

We saw elephants on the river bank (and from the size of their ears I deduced that they were Asian elephants) but they turned out to be domestic elephants in the park to graze. We also saw lots of birds including kingfisher, osprey and vulture.

When we stopped for the day the boys’ shoes were nowhere to be found. We seem to be getting through shoes at an alarming rate. In two months we have lost 1 croc, 1 Birkenstock, 1 pair of flip flops and now two pairs of sandals.

That evening we were entertained by a cultural dance. I tend to steer clear of this kind of thing at hotels but this was in fact a load of local teens having fun. Nick, Tomas and I joined in as well as the handful of other guests. George however was more interested in his desert.

We were due to leave the next afternoon so in the morning we wandered down to the local market to find shoes for the boys. It was a pleasant walk through a traditional Tharu village. The houses are made from a mixture of mud and dung spread over a wooden frame. Many houses had chickens, goats or buffalo and there were pumpkin patches on the roofs of the cowsheds.

A waiter from the lodge had come with us to point us in the right direction and he delighted in introducing us to his extended family along the way. At one point we terrified a poor toddler who had never seen a Westerner before. We happily greeted some of the dancers from the previous evening as we passed them on their way to school.

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On the way back we stopped to watch the women of the village working in the river. The water level was low and by making a series of dams they had pushed fish, eels and crabs along and then caught them in big nets. The boys were fascinated and we spent a long time there whilst they helped sort the catch into different buckets. Which were then shared amongst the women. George was given a fish and was most upset that we wouldn’t let him keep it to play with on the 14 hour bus ride.

And with that our visit to Bardia was over and we braced ourselves for all the fun of the nightbus back to Pokhara. We may still have not seen a Bengal tiger but we really enjoyed our time exploring the park. It was peaceful, beautiful and a wonderful way to spend a few days.

*Santi appeared well treated and low visitor numbers at Bardia mean she is not over worked but I have since learned more about how elephants are trained and am left feeling deeply uncomfortable.

**Barking is an area of East London